A Liminal Blog Space

Help! What’s Going on in my Infant’s Mind?!

Answer: “A lot!”

Learn Reflective Parenting

— A 30 second Self-Help Introduction –-

——–

Yes, infants DO have minds!

and, 

They remember! However, their memory is a different kind of memory then adult use. It forms the basis of later kinds of learning, language and development.

Yes, your infant knows and recognizes you, better then you might think!

Yes, infants need and respond to your eye-to-eye, attention.  You’re drained, overworked, and haven’t a moment to yourself! Sometimes you’re doing two things at once.  You don’t have to attend to your infant constantly, but infants know if you are always texting or folding clothes when you are holding them.

Overall, connecting and getting to know your infant & child’s mind makes a short and long-term difference for you and they.

Research indicates the nurturing environment of the first three years establishes a foundation, in tandem with your infant’s unique biologically based temperament, to flourish. 

So, Where to Begin?

  1. Enjoy (Can you?) gazing in to your infant’s eyes, smiling in response to them, and quietly being with. 
  2. To “talk” without words is such ‘a foreign language’ to many adults.  Get ready to learn it! Use words, but also respond to sounds!
  3. Sing with, ogle with, mimic, harmonize, take turns, try noises, imitate, and play. Can you accept if it doesn’t seem to make sense?
  4. Touch & cuddle.
  5. Take less time “doing,” and time “being” with.
  6. Soothe, (quiet words, calm touch, long moments together) when your infant is upset.
  7. Begin to ask yourself:
  8. “What am I feeling and experiencing? Learn to identify your feelings. Name them. Accept them? Can you?
  9. Then, be curious about and wonder to yourself: “What is my infant feeling and experiencing? Name it.  Allow it, and accept it? Can you?
  10. Think quality of connection over quantity of presence.
  11. Join a group of caring caretakers to consider what your infant is experiencing and how to “talk” together, or consult with a therapist specializing in “Reflective Parenting.”

This is written with the awareness that you may be in pain, overly tired, and physically drained after the birth of your child.

For professional help contact a therapist able to assess you for postpartum depression or anxiety.  Your doctor can help with assessment of your infant’s physical well-being and health.

(This information is not intended to be anything other then a very general introduction.  To address your infant’s persistent crying or if you have medical questions or concern about your infant’s health, seek the assistance of a medical doctor).

To learn more about Reflective Parenting, and understanding your infant or toddler’s mind…’

Susan E. Barbour, Ed.D. Psychologist/Psychoanalyst
Dynamic Psychotherapy Associates, LLC

827 N. Cass. St.
Milwaukee, WI. 53202
Phone:
414-368-0460

 

The Benefits Of Private Pay For Psychotherapy

Over recent years psychotherapy is less stigmatized. Many people are benefiting from the potentially life-changing effects of a meaningful psychotherapy and opt to be selective in their choice of a psychologist to provide continuity in the therapy work.

Here are fifteen reasons to consider private pay for your psychotherapy.

  1. You get to choose the psychologist you think a good and personable fit for your needs and someone you want to work with.
  2. You and your psychologist decide the treatment and duration of your psychotherapy, not your insurer.
  3. Your psychologist has an expertise or specialized training that in-network providers do not.
  4. You want an experienced psychologist no longer interested to work at the behest of your insurance provider.
  5. Your in-network therapist does not offer the continuity that a regularly scheduled mutual commitment to the therapy process necessitates.
  6. You do not want your insurer to have a record of your visit or your diagnosis in their database. You may opt for private pay versus out-of-network.
  7. You have a previous therapeutic relationship with a psychologist that was helpful and you wish to resume your process with the same person now out-of-network with your insurer.
  8. You had a bad experience when a previous therapy process was abruptly concluded by an insurer determination to limit coverage.
  9. You, as a new therapist, psychologist or psychiatric resident want the benefit of learning through experience and without insurer intrusion.
  10. You prefer a non-medical/clinic office setting of a particular psychologist.
  11. You have a preventative health focus not supported by your insurer’s definition of “medically necessary” criteria.
  12. You want to get to the root of your issues and not be limited to a focused and symptom management perspective.
  13. You have the latitude to negotiate the session fee.
  14. You want the cost of your psychotherapy or psychoanalysis to come out of your HSA account as pre-tax dollars.
  15. You believe in wellness, preventative and facilitative interventions to assure health maintenance.
Susan E. Barbour, Ed.D. Psychologist/Psychoanalyst
Dynamic Psychotherapy Associates, LLC
827 N. Cass St.
Milwaukee, WI. 53202
Phone: 414-368-0460
 

Defining Moments

Moments

Come by chance, a meeting

followed by a parting, and then meeting again.

In moments shared, and then alone,

continuity is strung together

and longings reconciled.

+++

Therapy is a process, a journey in time, that matters

we glimpse what we are and may become.

+++

(Copyright: Susan Barbour, Ed.D. All Rights Reserved)

Susan E. Barbour, Ed.D. Psychologist/Psychoanalyst
Dynamic Psychotherapy Associates, LLC

827 N. Cass. St.
Milwaukee, WI. 53202
Phone:
414-368-0460

Beginning Anew

One of the reasons I called my blog a “liminal blog space” is because liminal means threshold

Coming to therapy is just such a threshold — a beginning and/or beginning anew. 

The first hello marks a transition for you, between what “was” and who you have been, and what you may become. Deeper therapeutic processes help you use your capabilities and love more fully.  This is rather a big idea in its own way. Yes? Therapy is a risk and it takes courage to begin.

Therapy is not a one-time event.  It is a process over time and within a kind of space that we create together.  Exploration, curiosity, and sometimes stamina through thick and thin reap rewards.  Change is hard.  Change does happen however.

Susan E. Barbour, Ed.D. Psychologist/Psychoanalyst
Dynamic Psychotherapy Associates, LLC

827 N. Cass St.
Milwaukee, WI. 53202
Phone:
414-368-0460

Therapy? Me!? Am I crazy, or…?

You don’t like to think about starting therapy. It means making time and it may mean spending money. If you are like most people, you are afraid that if you start therapy it suggests that you are crazy. You know it doesn’t necessarily mean that, however, you worry that someone you know might see you ducking into some therapy clinic doorway and will think that you are bonkers. Even you may tell yourself that you “need” therapy and then you don’t want to go even more! So, next you reassure yourself with the thought: “I am no crazier then so-and-so (and you name someone you know that is half-friend and half-enemy) and you worry that everyone thinks you are just “different” somehow. Now you have talked yourself out of therapy until the next time you go through the same cycle of self-doubt.  

Well, let me help you reframe how you think about this. I propose you ask yourself three questions and let your answers simmer for a while as your guide.

1) Am I content?

2) Do I feel fulfilled?

3) And I using my potential in my work and in my relationships?

Notice, I am not focusing on symptoms at the moment. I am not asking if you are feeling very down or nervous. I want to emphasize that symptoms are important and if you feel very down and/or anxious you can benefit from therapy and should see your doctor, because you deserve the relief that is possible for you.

However, my point is that symptoms signal that something is going on for you, and what is going on probably has to do with the quality of your life and how you feel about you. That’s why I call it being: “Under the Emotional Weather.” I am not talking about your skills, or abilities, or even your interests.

It’s about whether you feel you are being all you can be, if you feel loved and liked, and if you feel both good being responsible, and also free in being who you are.

Susan Barbour, Ed.D., Psychologist
Dynamic Psychotherapy Associates, LLC
827 N. Cass St.
Milwaukee, WI  53202
Phone: 414-368-0460

“Dynamic” Psychotherapy?

“Dynamic” has to due with the flow or blockage of energy.

In 1894 Wilhelm von Bruke, a German scientist, proposed that all living things are energy systems.

Neuroscience and eastern philosophies continue to bear this premise out.

We live in relationship to each other and the word “emotion” means basically to “move.”

Psychodynamic psychotherapy focuses on energy and meaning related to it, both within you and between you and others, especially significant others in your past and present relationships.

Susan E. Barbour, Ed.D. Psychologist
Dynamic Psychotherapy Associates, LLC
827 N. Cass St.
Milwaukee, WI. 53202
By Appointment Only: 414-368-0460

A “Liminal” Space

relating to a transitional or initial stage of a process.

A Liminal Space

What does that mean?

Liminal is:

  • relating to a transitional or initial stage of a process.
  • occupying a position at, or on both sides of, a boundary or threshold

Love, beauty, poetry, creation, process occur within A Liminal Space
Some therapeutic processes are helpful because they make access possible to creative and unknown parts of ourselves.  Such an experience is enlivening.  There are many layers to what is “real.”   Reality is what we experience, perceive, believe.  Liminal is coming alive to who we are.

In this blog, I offer a poem, a thought, quote, and maybe a controversial idea about life, process and therapy.

We stand at a threshold between the world and our very self.  And our very self, each our very selves, are unique.  So a beginning….

Susan Barbour, Ed.D., Psychologist
827 N. Cass St.
Milwaukee, WI  53202
Phone: 414-368-0460